m a r c h

'Happy Working' has finally came to an end. It went well. I made a short speech before I left, but not everyone was there, especially Christy. I wished she was there that night. I am going to miss her so much. I made Kak Anna burst into tears. This mean I manage to impress her. She also ask me to think about going back there, working with her next month. But I have to say sorry to Kak Anna because I don't want to go back there and live an unorganized-life because that job is a time killer. I could hardly spend my time with my mum, dad and siblings. Same goes to my friends. And worst, myself. It suck. A lot. But I have to say that last month payment was quite satisfying. So, that two-months-of-working  were really paid off.

My list; I failed number 3, 4 and 5. I didn't shout "happy resign" that night because I was not happy at all. I had a small argument with An. He was being such an ass that night. I was quite pissed off with his attitude. But whatever, it lasted till I punch him real hard on his skinny shoulder. Plus, I find that it's kind of rude doing that in front of Kak Anna. So, I didn't do it. Things got messed up to for number 4. Some of my mates weren't talking to each other because of misunderstanding of something that I'm not sure about, you know, rumours. Then, there it goes, no group photo. So sad. How about number 5? Okay, for some of you people who knows me well, yes, you are right. I absolutely have no balls for that. I can not just go in front of him and talk like I knew him before. And what am I suppose to say when I confront him? Well, I have thousand things to say but I don't want to say "Hi I have been checking you out since I saw you at the backdoor a month ago, I think we might be friends if we exchange our phone numbers and probably 0.01% chances of falling each other?" oh what a slutty things to say (I'm kidding okay) I'm not going to do it. So, number 5 failed. But the truth is I can never randomly talk to people just like that. This is just how I am. Nature has it.

happy coincidence

It took a week for me to decide to quit my job. It was depressing because my new executive didn't want me to resign. She likes me here, working with her. Well, I like her too(so far). But I need to focus my coming paper, yes, I am going to repeat my one last C- paper. Ugh shit happens, deal with it. About my work, I had so much good times here. Good times with the people working here. I am going to miss them; Joan, Olga, Kak Fiffy, Siti, Kak Anne, Kak Anna, Ling Mei, Mio, Jelsen, Jasmie, Wong, Remon and the most, An! This guy is the cruelest-honest-fucktard ever. The only person who dares to call me fat, pig and everything I don't want to know about myself. I probably won't ever going to see him again. Surely going to miss everyone. This four days... My goodness, I just cannot wait to end this up. And I still have a few undone checklist. 

Things to do before last day of work

1. Impress Kak Anna.
2. One fine goodbye with everyone. 
3. Shout "Happy Resign" on my last night of "Happy Night".
4. Group photo with my Cotton-mates.
5. Talk to Mr Clarence. 

delusional

because I am in love
with the thought of you
and
loving you
without knowing
the real you

you with your awkward teeth

your 

broad shoulder

soft fair skin

damn fine hair

that chinese eyes you got there 

those adorable high-cheekbones

and your breathtaking smile/laugh

are aesthetically pleasing 

in short

beautiful

can we both just sit face to face

have some tea or coffee

just talk and see what happens next

instead of running into each other

every day

pretending not to care

about our both existence

Part of growing up.

Here, they don't talk about Hollywood. They don't talk about dream. They don't talk about what's the new album of Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber or Exo. I'm not saying they're living in box, what I mean is they are different. They talk on real stuffs. They talk about here. They talk about their experiences. How they end up here. How they face failure and get up. What they have seen and what they have been through. 

These people are my workmate. I have been working part time for 21 days now. I never knew working in a hypermarket  will be this tough. I see things quite different now. Its not easy to make friends when you're new there. My first two-three days of working was like the worst moment in my life because I was all alone most of the time. I ate lunch with this guy whom I just knew for 3 hours; he was on the phone all the time and every time I questioned him, he only shook or nodded his; answering my bloody questions. Then we sat there for an hour and I had nothing in my hand because my phone was at the admin office. We were not allowed to bring our phone to work except for lunch. But I stupidly forgotten about it. Then on the second day, my supervisor scolded at me because I forgot to tape the stock in the store room. Then on the third day the body checker at the back door scolded at me because I ask her question and I have no idea what the fuck she did that for. Everyone was looking and making fun at me. I once ate my lunch near the back door, I just stand there and ate my lunch while people passed by. Now I know how suck it is to be alone and isolated. 

I have no one talk with on that three days. Then, I started to talk to the other staffs from different department. It turns out that they really are nice people. The only problem here is they can't pronounce my name correctly. I have lots of names here. Cher, Cha, Lin, Cher-Anne, Charlin and even Patrick or Pat. Because I am in the cotton department, I was known as Amoi Cotton. Cotton staffs here are well-known. Why? Cus cotton department is the toughest department at first floor. It was fucking true when our stock had arrived. Hundreds of towels, comforters, bed sheets, bolsters and pillows. We have to stick the price tags and fold all the towels in a right way. We spent 4 days to finish everything. I almost cried that day. It was like an endless job. Plus, the executive there, keep on scolding at me because I'm not doing anything right. I almost gave up. But, this one guy told me not to. He's from my department too. He works here for almost a month. My supervisor is also a supportive person. 

I learnt lots of stuffs each day. I guess this the part of growing up. And I'm telling you, I love this feeling.