February 14, 2017

A war with myself.

Awful thoughts has been keep popping up and interrupting me recently. Its already heavy enough to have a war inside of your head. A war between your mind and your responsibilities, tasks, commitment, staying on track and financial. But somehow it doesn't seem enough with a war on yourself. When the people around you keep giving negative vibes, I seriously can't. Its too much. Just freaking too much. I don't think I could recall when was the last time I slept without having tears on my pillow. Its true. I just want to get it over. Is this some kind of mental illness that bring out only the worst of me? Why is it life seems so out of purpose right now? A part of me is half-alive and I refused to make the other one turn out the same. 

So, please. This condition is not something you could stop by saying "Don't be sad" or "You're just thinking too much". I need nothing but your hand, your helping hand - to hold me and drag me to where I have to be. 

I could not count on anyone but one thing I could count on is I need your help; stop doing whatever destroys me. 
Stop. 

Just stop.

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