Dear self, don't worry. All the tearful nights, choking yourself with responsibilities, dealing with f*cktards and time & energy invested on works and studies, it teaches you a lesson that you couldn't learn by reading books or yourself. These are the sweats and tears that you will worth to grew from those. Soon, you will thank yourself.
In the future, you will reflect your life and said "Dayum, I used to be someone beyond my limits."
Its an important moment of your life to be reflected in the future. When you want to give up and let go of something, please dear self, please, I beg you, please remember those moment. You have been through a lot of hardship. Take it as a reflection that remind yourself to be fearless to face another stages of life. Life is not getting easier. The closer you are to your dream, the harder it gets. Similar situation happen when you got yourself closer to the Lord. But the hardship are fruitful and the sweetest feeling you could ever imagined.
This is only the chance I got. I only have less than a year left in this campus;10 friggin' months to be exact to call myself as a student. I don't know if you understand this feeling but for me, I am so not ready to leave the life as a student. I don't know if I could adapt myself as someone who considered as an independent adult, working women and having salary every month. Getting more and more responsibilities more than your siblings. Not getting any allowance from your parents or enjoying the the scholarship from the government. But to be an individual that required to face the globalized world; surviving in this competitive and corrupted society. By corrupted I meant, the society isn't as what they seems as they look or act. Plus, you could never live the life like we did in the 20th century. Come on dear, this is a new era where the earth are transformed into border-less world.
As you(me) read through your blog, note yourself that you are getting better and better. The life you're living in now might not be exactly the same as you had plan back in 5 years ago, but life seems good at this moment. It possibly might happen again in the next 3-5 years - you could be standing in different land and speaking new languages. Whatever the life is, promise yourself that you will make yourself proud. You will and always be. Keep this spirit goes on and enjoy the rest of the moment. I swear, these experiences, you will never stop feeling grateful about it. There is so much to explore and to learn than staying in your comfort zone.
Keep going, you will reach the life you never imagine you could be. Be forever blessed.