Days before Christmas were amazing. I have done lots of things. New things. New experiences. "Choirs, caroling and more friends". I had great times with them for 14 days of caroling. But I skipped few nights because I went for part-time-catering. Singing advent and christmas songs joyfully made me felt a lot better and forget about everything for a moment. This is what I wanted to do since I was a kid. Spreading the Christmas cheer. Did I mentioned this is my first time joining caroling? Oh yes, it is. It felt great and I want to do it again on next year.
I had hard times in helping my brother's wedding preparation. This is because I procrastinate lots of things and I'm screwed. But everything is almost done now. I just need a day break from it and continues it before the big day.
This year, I'm not feeling the spirit of Christmas. But the days before, I was looking forward for it. but just look at me now. I feel empty. I feel lost. Unhappy and insecure. I just want it to come to an end. I want a new day. A new year.
I need to find myself, over and over again.
I need a year to look for myself.