October 30, 2013

Can you spell g i r l f r i e n d?


One of the reason I love Pre-U; having my amazing, crazy, smart and supportive girlfriends around me all the time. Life in Pre-U will never be this adventurous without them. I am going to cherish every moments we had. I love you girlfriends.

October 29, 2013

I lied.

"you can always lie to other but not yourself"

I haven't been honest to myself lately.
I make excuses just to
avoid you.

You're a good friend.
Probably the best one cos no one had ever treated me that way before.
I don't know how to thank you but
be a good listener next to you.
I hope I didn't do anything that might hurt your feeling(s).

October 24, 2013

You own my attention

and that's not a good thing. I rely too much on you. I hope so much from you. Maybe because this is the first time ever, I feel safe with someone like you. People may look at you like you're the biggest jerk ever or worst guy to go out with, but ugh that what makes me, oh for the sake of cheese, I think I'm into you. Can't believe this but it's happening again. Those feeling from previous year is back. But this time it has grown. Why am I feeling this crappy shit

It's only a week till our final, our last semester. My lord, I want to cry out loud. I won't ever see you again in your blazer with your head, bald and your short nail. Yeah, short nail. You like to keep your nails long and that's grossss

Call me an idiot cos I'm going to tell you these shitty feeling after we are done with our paper. Or maybe not because I don't want you to think you're that good enough to own my attention. You never were that good enough because the reason why I pay so many attention on you because I want to change you.Iwant to see the both of us do well in our future. I want you to prove the others on what you are capable with. I want others to look at me and be like "Whoa how the heck did she changed him?" HahahahHAH told ya this is nothing but pile of shit from my head. But seeing you don't have feeling on me, hurts me. I wished you like me or at least liked me.  

October 17, 2013

"you guys look cute together"

This line came out from my friend who I just bumped into with at the beach. It's been on my mind all night. Yes. I would like to be your girl but I wish things were that easy.

I really want to tell you about everything that has been running through my head all this time.


"I really
really
wanted to know
if you ever
probably
have the possibility
on having
a soft feeling
on me?"


If I ever ask you this question one day, I really hope you would answer it honestly,
because
I don't need any of your sympathy any more.
I don't need you to make me feel important any more.
Yeah. You made me felt like one before.

October 11, 2013

clear my mind, free my soul, surprise me with happiness

It broke my heart. 
You, broke it.
 
I felt used 
I felt betrayed 
and 
I felt cheated. 

I push myself so hard
just to hate you.
But the more I hate you
the more I think about liking you
this feeling,
it makes me happy 
but still 
it annoys me 
but most of the time
the laugh we shared
cures the scars inside of me.

Those broken pieces of happiness seems getting back together again
when we are close
but you 
part them away 
few times,
probably there's more in the future.

Now, I don't know. I don't know what to feel. 
Maybe I shouldn't hope too much in the first place.