September 14, 2013

can you not think too much

study. money. family. friends. school activities. you.

1. Study. I can never stop reminding myself to study every day and night. It's very easy for me to start my revision but my main problem is I can't stick with it. I know this also happen to most you guys, but ugh this is stressing me out. This is my final semester. My previous result were not that good enough. I want to be the best and I have to. This is my last chance to reach my goal. I need to study but first I have to motivate myself. I need motivation!

2. Money. Why can't money grow on a tree? I have so many stuffs to buy now. My happiness is depending on the money I have. The more I have, the happier I will be. Sounds horrible but heyyy nthat's me. Oh wait, I like to look for my own money, I don't ask money that much from my parents. I have my 'Saving Jar' so that should do it. Polaroid and Nikon 1 J2, soon.

3. Family. I have my own family problem. But that's between my brother and my dad. They don't 'get along' with each others since 3 years ago. My parents are getting older and my mum's condition is sighh I don't know how to say this, but the thing is, she's been talking lots of medicine lately and she has appointment with her doctor every month. Whenever I ask her about her review with the doctor, she only said that it was nothing. Nothing but she came home with more medicine. I love you so much mum and I want you to know it.

4. Friends. The happy pills of my life. I miss everyone. I miss how easy it was to be surrounded with friends. I miss those deep talks with my girlfriends. I want those old feelings back but life's better if we just put it behind and live life with memories. Life goes on and I need to, too. All of my friends have their own way now. It's all depend on us to look for time, time to spend with each other. Form 6 is going to end soon. I'm going to miss my crazy ass friends. I've learnt so many things here.

5. School activities. Ugh this is sick. I'm sick of taking in charge on every activities in school. I feel like quitting. I need a break from this and start to focus on my activities before I get my head all blown up.

6. You. You gave me high hopes and I hope this time I won't get drown from it. But I'm ready for it. If it's not me then, it's okay. When you're around you gave me this energy that I am unbeatable. You make me felt safe, ew this is disgusting but yeah I do feel that shit. Actually I'm still lost with my feeling towards you so hah Idk.