July 10, 2013

poisonous thoughts

Have you ever laid on bed at night and cry over at your pathetic life? Because you're not good enough in 3/4 of your life-wish. Then you started to count at how many people would stay till the end with you but you can't because you have no one, you are all alone. You felt cold all the sudden and you can feel the warm of your tears on your face. When you think of yourself, you felt insecure and ugly and dumb because of all things. Then, you started to worry what might tomorrow brings at you. What if all of your friends start to dump you because they lose interest on you? What if all this time they don't actually wanted to be friends with but they had to because they only feel pity on you because you're pathetic? What if you took the wrong path to your future? What if you end up living without a job or having a job that you don't even like it? What if you get poor and still asking money from your parents till you're 30? What if you lose contact with your best friend and she's a complete stranger in the next 10 years? What if your sister gets married, move out and she forgets all about you because she's having a perfect life? If all of these happens, will I ever be the same?