July 29, 2013

110 lbs

Don't ever refer me with the 'F' word, I never once in my life liked that word. Plus-sized, yes, that's the shit I prefer to hear at. Oh and please don't lie at me when I ask you how I really look like. I can tell you're lying and you don't know what it might lead me to. So don't even try to say I look fine/nice when I am not.

If you're happen to be one of my close-friend, you know how much I'm dying to be fit. I've been wishing for it like forever. I've never been in the 'right-size'. I never felt comfy in any of my shirts or jeans or dresses. I can never accept my body no matter how positive my mind can be. I can accept my self but never for my body. Can you imagine every day, looking at those mirror with your naked body and seeing those extra-fat-creature living inside your body and makes you look horrible in every jeans you owned? No, you probably can't because you're not me. Sometimes I have to wake in the morning and say to my self "This is your last day of being 'big'. So don't worry, you'll survive today." And when you look at the mirror with that figure, it just kills me thinking I might not be having that beautiful perfect figure. No one could ever make me like my body but myself.

I need a pair of running shoe and everything's going to be fine. I want to be fit, strong and healthy.