August is almost coming to an end. Guess what? I am on my internship at the moment and I gotta say I am doing pretty cool thing here. Oh wait, before I talk (mostly brag about it but meh, what else I could write about) about what happened, you probably wondering how my ARP went - well, honestly dear, it was the worst yet the best 2 weeks of my life. I never once committed that amount of time on my research till I realized the submission date is in 10 days and shit, my work was not even half done.
By the day I had my last exam, I immediately went from zero to fully committed every second of my time writing it - well, barely. However, I was not being smart or wise enough to balance my time. Everything went up side down. I wasn't eating and sleeping properly - sleeping with my eyes wide open and eat anything just to make my stomach full. I was lack of nutrient and I could even felt my brain about to explode and somehow felt my heart beating very weak. I completely gone crazy to finish my research. One night I had this major breakdown - I couldn't write anything on my paper for 20 hours and there's only 3 days to finish it. Well, I had to rush because I am having this camp thingy in Penang which I also look forward to and assume it as a reward for finishing my research writing. Back to breakdown thing; my whole body shuts down and not many ideas were generated for 20 hours. Because of this, I was depressed - unable to think straight, cried so hard and had to call my best friend to calm myself down. It work for few minutes but furgh, everything went crazy again around 4 am. I had to go to my friend's room because I need real human conversation about it. My whole body was shaking till I couldn't face the laptop anymore or listen to the sound of keyboard typing. "I can't finish it", that's how I sum up what I had in mind. I cried in her room for an hour and I was loud. I think I somehow freak them out or maybe not but they save me. Just by letting me in and I was grateful they were available for my whining and tears. If you're happen reading this, I need to let you know that you basically saved my bachelor degree life.
The crying continued silently for few days. Crying keeps me going and sane. So, every night I will have this spiritual conversation over the research writing; apologizing and admire how amazing Jesus has done for me and persuading myself that I could make it on time. It was quite funny when I think about it now. I literally turn to Jesus. Another thing is my ARP supervisor. She is so cool; she somehow understand that I need this research to be done 2 days before submission. So, she made a fast reply on my 1st draft and immediately agree to proceed to publish it after reading my 2nd draft - Truly am grateful for this!
I even submitted my thesis like in the most dramatic way. I rent a car for the whole day and the rain decided to pour down heavily. Then, I paid almost two hundred for my hardcover thesis - requested for the fastest service, so yeah. I made into the school office about 5 minutes before they close Yeah, that's about it. It ends. Everything went by in just a blink; from having nasi lemak at 12 am in Pak Ndak cafe while listening to random jokes to crying over paper and journals and to sleeping at your study table. It has already ended and I don't think I will ever put myself in that situation again.
At least for now - best of luck dear self.